Monday, October 31, 2011

Poe's First Draft of 'The Raven'

Gather 'round Dearest Dachshunds, and snuggle up close and tight next to your human - it's time for the annual telling of Poe's first draft of 'The Raven!'  We post this every year at this time because, well, you can never get too much of a good thing: 

The Dachshund
Once upon a midnight dreary as I plodded weak and weary
To my bed with visions full of Slumberland’s enchanted shore.
I was taking off my socks and suddenly I spied my dachshund
Curled up like a sleeping fox in just the space that I yearned for
“Move yourself off of my bed, please, I am weary and footsore”
Quoth the dachshund, “No. You snore.”

Startled by the stillness marked by such display of cheeky snark
Quickly did I point my finger toward the bedroom’s open door.
“Get thee hence, you little brat, I’ll take no sort of sass like that,
Upon my bed I’ll stretch out flat, my wearied senses to restore.
After all my toil I crave the yielding mattress’s contour.”
Quoth the dachshund, “Try the floor.”

I had scarce the strength to quibble, “Listen here, you know that kibble
That appears as if by clockwork in your dish upon the floor?
It does not grow on the trees, nor does the salve that wards off fleas,
So I would think you’d try to please the person who buys treats galore.
If I do not get my rest, I’ll not be going to the store.”
Quoth the dachshund, “You’re a bore.”

And the dachshund, never stirring, lay just like a kitten purring,
By my lack of will inferring his was now the winning score.
Anyone who owns a dachsie must concede they’re full of moxie,
Both directly and by proxy, your commands they will ignore.
Best admit that any chance of winning you long since foreswore.
You’re the master nevermore.

Photo: 'Halloween Dwyn' by Doug Watt.
Model: 'Dwyn'
Author: Jerry Stemnock for Dachshund Delights

Have a fun and safe Halloween!
So long Dachtober. We love ya.


curator said...

Hilarious! And so perfect for the season. Happy Halloween my friends!

Jayne D. and AnnieBelle said...

Very cute and clever and so true!!
Jayne and Annie

Anonymous said...

this poem is enormously funny...dachshunds "full of moxie" you betcha...and NO...I haven't been the master for the 4 years that Baron and I have shared our lives

kudos to Dwyn, Doug and Jerry

I would like to share this poem on Baron's Page on my I ask you for permission or Mr. Stemnock?

Rowdy and Bette said...

Hi Theanne and Baron! Jerry is a good friend of ours, and he doesn't mind his work being shared as long as you give him credit.

jnorton80 said...

This is what genius looks like darn lazy doxies

Jerry Stemnock said...

Theanne and Baron: Joey and Rowdy speak true. Feel free to use my poem. And please give the credit to Dachshund Delights.

Alicia said...

This is a literary masterpiece.
Poe only wishes that he could have penned this piece!

kalyxcorn said...

hee hee hee. perfect picture too! :)

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