Three dachshunds - one long-hair, one wire-hair and one smooth are sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office when they strike up a conversation.
The smooth turns to the long-hair and says, "So why are you here?"
The long-hair replies, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything - the sofa, the drapes, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night, when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The smooth says, "So what is the vet going to do?"
"Gonna give me Prozac," came the reply from the long-hair. "All the vets are prescribing it. It works for everything."
The long-hair then turns to the wire-haired and asks, "Why are you here?"
The wire hair says, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the smooth inquired.
"Looks like Prozac for me too," the dejected wire hair said.
The wire hair then turns to the smooth and asks what he's at the vet's office for.
"I'm a humper," the smooth says. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fire hydrants, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself, I hopped on her back and started humping away."
The long hair and wire hair exchange a sad glance and say, "So, Prozac for you too, huh?"
The smooth says, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped."
Photo Source: unknown, widely circulated on the net