Those Special Dachshunds: A Doll Named Dolly!

We can't thank Carl B. enough for writing in with the astounding tale of his beloved black and tan longhair named 'Dolly.'  Dachshund Love Story, indeed: 

Hello Joey and Maggie,
I just discovered your website today and I love it! I also learned a new term today that being 'Dachshundist.'

For many years I did not like Dachshunds at all. My only familiarity with the breed was with my neighbors dog who was named 'Digger'. Digger loved digging underneath my garden fence therefore allowing other dogs to get in and destroy my garden. That fence is now gone but I still have a garden and the funny thing is now that the fence is gone the town dogs are less curious as to what is on the other side. Oh they still come in and destroy things occasionally but in the long run I have less work to do because when the fence was there I had to run the weedeater around it.

My familiarity with Dachshunds happened because the fence was gone. It also helps that our town does not enforce leash laws. My new neighbors bought a Dachshund pup that they named Dolly. She is a female Longhaired Dachshund. Dolly hated the very ground I walked on and constantly barked at me when I was working in my garden.

I am not a small dog person nor is my wife. We love German Shepherds but gave up on owning one after our Fritz passed away. Fritz's story is too long to tell here. I shall summarize it by saying he was a loyal, faithful, protective dog who loved cats and hated all other dogs even females. I still love that breed but I am old and disabled. I cannot handle a big working dog and in my humble opinion a German Shepherd deserves a young person who can play and work with them.

We owned other dogs after Fritz but none that lived long or that lived up to our expectations. Fritz set a high standard.

But lets go back to Dolly the Dachshund. I decided that me and her were going to be friends. I decided that she was just going to have to get used to me being in the garden and all I wanted to do was to get her to stop barking at me. I was completely ignorant of Dachshund behavior. She barked her little head off at me and I ignored her. This went on for a full month.

One day I noticed that there was a hole in the ground on my property that she liked. She always dug there and did her potty business there. So I got an idea. I put fresh dirt in the hole and made sure my smell was on it. It did not take her long to find it and she seemed to be impressed.

A day or so after that she started getting closer to me without barking too much. it was like she thought she had better see what that man was up to. Because I am disabled I rode around the yard on my John Deere lawn tractor and I walk with a cane. Next thing I knew Dolly was jumping up on my mower to sit on the seat and watch me.

After a month and a half Dolly finally allowed me to touch her. She did not like that at all. She took up with my wife first and we decided that she was a dog who preferred women over men. I was finally able to actually pet Dolly a week later but she still was not too impressed.

Once we befriended her we gave her a lot of attention. She slowly started loving both me and my wife. My wife was quite smitten with her. I did not allow myself to be due to the bad luck I have had in the past with dogs I have cared about. That only worked for a short time because now I cannot decide who loves who the most.

Her owners kept her penned up during the day. When they got home from work they let her out. She would have to go potty very badly but there were more important things to do first. Her priority was to first come over and say hi to us in her doggy way. Unfortunately she would get so excited that she would urinate all over the place so I jokingly named her my little PeePeePooPooPuppy. Dogs just love it when you speak to them with silly words like that.

That was an Interesting summer. I was very overweight at the beginning. Dolly would get upset if we were not out there so I made sure I was out there every day. I lost 80 pounds while out fiddling with the dog and catching up on work that needed done. At the end of the summer my wife and I were very much in love with Dolly.

That fall my neighbors became involved in a divorce. The man moved out. I was scared he would take Dolly with him as he was smitten with her too. After he moved out Dolly got it in her head that we were going to be her new owners. I tried to discourage it. I sent her back to her people numerous times. One cold night she was out roaming around. She hates the cold. She came to our door and was scratching at it. I broke down when I heard her whining which I had never heard before. I let her in and she has been with us ever since.

That first night she jumped up in our bed and slept with us. I had never allowed a dog on our bed before. We overslept that next morning and sometime during the night Dolly had to potty. She found where we had our plastic trash bags stored, pulled one out with her mouth, and did her business on it. I was amazed. I was astounded. We have 3 housecats. She hates cats but leaves ours alone.

I could write a book about this past year and our experiences with Dolly. I shall end my narrative here. I take Dolly with me almost every place I go. I bought a different pickup truck a month or so ago and within two days she claimed it as 'hers' in the same manner that Fritz had claimed my old pickup truck as 'His' and may God have mercy on the person he caught messing with it because had no mercy for anything he caught messing with anything he claimed as 'His'.

I cannot finish without saying that a human who has started liking dachshunds after years of not liking them is worse that a converted cat hater. My wife caught a pit bull mix biting Dolly the other day. She is scared to death of pit bulls but she went after that one without a second thought. The pit bull was lucky that a gun was not close by. The pit bull mix soon left the yard as he did not quite know what to think about a human who would act aggressively towards him. Dolly had no injuries that time.

Thank you for listening to the ramblings of an old man.

Dolly is the best dog I have ever known.

Carl B.

P.S.  Dolly does not hold still long enough for a good picture. Some of these days I will get a good one LOL.



The Dachshund Bill of Rights
as told from the point of view of Dolly the Dachshund

1. Everything in my life will be ' in ordung ' which is German for 'in order'. If it is not I shall bark at it until it is.

2. The top of my human's Lane big mans recliner belongs to me. I shall observe my domain from that vantage point.

3. I reserve the right to be involved in everything my humans do.

4. I shall not suffer the presence of a cat except at my humans insistence.

5. I shall cheerfully give up my life in the defense of my humans no matter how futile that attempt may be.

6. There are items in my domain that belong to me exclusively. Those are my food bowl, My water bowl, My humans pickup truck, the John Deere lawn tractor, or any other item I may deem as mine at any particular time. Only humans that I know and love are allowed near them.

7. Chasing sticks and balls thrown by humans is fun but pointless. I reserve the right to end the game at any time I so choose.

8. I reserve the right to 'Help' the humans whenever they correct their cats for breaking the rules of the house.

9. When exiting my house to potty outside I shall bark to announce my presence to the neighborhood.

10. My neighborhood is 'My' neighborhood. When patrolling it I shall carry myself proudly, tail erect with it's hair at the end sticking straight out. My humans call it my flag.

11. I reserve the right to climb up on my male humans chest and curl up around his neck like a cat whenever he is in his recliner. During those times I have the right to lick his ears anytime I so choose.

12 I reserve the right to 'Groom' my humans frequently by licking them. I do so because I love them fiercely and want them to look their best. I perform my grooming chores by licking their faces, ears, and feet.

13. There are more rights that I have but it is now time to exercise my right to a doggie nap.